Talk is cheap

Last night I was convicted of the truth of those words.

So lets set the stage shall we?

Last weekend my wife was scheduled to attend a scrap booking retreat. That mean's the ThreeB gang would be hanging out at home without mom. Since Keli home schools the boys and is around them much more than I am, B&B relish those times when I'm not at work. B&B were looking forward to spending quality time with their dad. Ben made a specific request for me to help him build this (a Christmas gift yet to be built).

Friday arrived and we dropped Keli off at her retreat. After arriving back at home, the boys and I played a bit, and then it was bedtime for them. I got them to bed and started playing "Lord of the Rings Online" via a free 10-day trial a friend sent me. I'm a gamer (gaming addict may be a better description), and I tend to get pretty focused when I'm playing a new game, and this was no exception. Brandon came down a few times to talk to me (Brandon doesn't fall asleep easily and tends to stay awake for a few hours after bedtime). I found myself wanting to scurry him back to bed so I could concentrate on my game. And thus my downhill slide began.

After logging off of the game and going to bed at 2:00am, I slept in a bit while B&B watched some cartoons. I did get them breakfast before lying down for a bit. The rest of the day was a blur of meals, picking up Legos, and me trying to squeeze in some game time when the boys were busy playing or watching a movie I put in the TV upstairs to "distract" them for a while. I'm not pulling any punches, I WAS being selfish and my boys were getting the short end of the stick. I found myself getting frustrated when Brandon asked me to spend time with him. I did spend time with him, but I wanted to be elsewhere doing what I WANTED TO DO. Then there was Ben. He had mostly assembled his Lego project without me. He had started on Friday before I had gotten home.

That night I was in a hurry to get the boys to bed so I could continue playing my game. I was short tempered and probably not treating them the way I should. Once I had them out of the way (isn't that terrible, I just wanted to get my children "out of the way") I played a bit more of my game. At around 11:30 I had my gaming fill and went to bed.

Sunday was busy with church, then meals, and then Keli returned home in the early afternoon. Keli and I talked about our weekends, then made dinner, and ate together as a family. After B&B had baths, we all watched "Extreme Home Makeover" (and the associated one thousand, not so family friendly, commercials that went along with it) together. Then it was bedtime for B&B.

That's when it sunk in that "Talk is cheap". As I tucked Ben in, he was very sad that we didn't get to work on the Lego project together. I had told him that we would work on it Saturday, I had told myself that I was going to spend quality time with my kids this weekend, and I had told my wife that I was looking forward hanging out with B&B. In the end, I spent the weekend focused on myself at the expense of my kids.

So as I watched the tears roll down my son’s cheeks and tried to justify why I didn't spend much time with him, I realized that "talk is cheap". How often do we speak words, not just to our children, that are not reflected in the way we act. I find it easy to say that my family comes first, but do my actions show that they truly do come first. This can be seen in so many different parts of our lives. We can claim that helping others is the right thing to do, but do we actually lift a hand to help. We can even talk about our goals, but how often do we make an effort to fulfill those goals.

May your actions prove what your mouth can only promise.